Day 9 – Pack a Shoebox…or 12

October 9, 2014October 9, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / Leave a comment

Before I even get out of the gate, understand me very clearly:

I’m not some big fancy do-gooder.

I do not donate our used towels to animal shelters.

I do not visit the elderly or clean their gutters.

Not only do I never give to PBS fund drives, I groan and flip the channel as soon as they start in about it.

I do have high-minded intentions occasionally, and I do think sweet charitable thoughts every now and then. But in practice, eh. I’m not so hot at it.

But here’s the one thing I get ROWDY about: I PACK SHOEBOXES. It is my one burst of awesome do-gooding for the year, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

This is one of my favorite pictures – my kiddos with the 222 shoeboxes collected from our church last year.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s the quick 411.

Samaritan’s Purse (the ministry run by Franklin Graham) is absolutely everywhere doing amazing things for people all over the world – be they victims of disaster or dread disease. They also run a project called Operation Christmas Child – which sends jillions of shoeboxes packed with toys, toiletries, and candy to kids in desperate situations all over the world every year. They take these boxes by camel and canoe and yak into some pretty far-flung places. I mean, they go everywhere.

And here’s the gyst of what happens. These children end up with a shoebox gift in their hands, mysteriously given to them from someone halfway around the world, someone who doesn’t know them or speak their language. But that someone loves them and is praying for them.

Lucy is writing notes to the kid who gets our box.

Many of these children have never gotten a gift. Like, ever. But when they do, many of them are so blown away by it that they keep coming back to the kind people at the church where they got their gift. And they discover what it is to be loved. And what it means to have hope. And their lives are changed. Eternally.

Sure, it’s just random stuff in a box that means zip to us – a toothbrush, a notebook, a bar of soap, some pencils, a Beanie Baby.

But I can’t count the number of times I’ve read that a child had prayed specifically for a doll with black hair or a pair of shoes so they could walk to school, and that was exactly what they found when they opened the lid. As if it weren’t an accident. As if Someone knew every one of their deepest hearts’ desires.

This project is so easy. It’s so fun to do as a family. But it’s so much more than that.

It’s amazing to me that such a little easy fun thing is capable of such great big transformative things.

So that’s Day 9 of my 31 Days of Fun Stuff for Families: Pack a shoebox. Or a dozen shoeboxes. (Here’s the link that tells you exactly what to do.)

The kids really get into it, picking out the perfect things, packing it all up just so. And we all know our kids could use more do-unto-others moments in their all-about-me lives.

Trust me, you’ll get major warm fuzzies doing it. And you’ll get major do-gooding points.

And oh yeah, there’s a little life out there that you could touch with love and hope and promise for the future. WITH A BEANIE BABY IN A BOX.

I mean, how could you not?

THIS is a little girl in Zambia holding a box we sent. CAN YOU STAND IT?! (A volunteer with Operation Christmas Child saw our address on the card and mailed us this picture. Her name is Mercy. LOVE.)

P.S. National Collection Week is November 17- 24 (check here for your nearest drop-off site and the times they’re open). For my CT local yokels — oh man, it can’t get any easier! Christ Lutheran Church in Niantic is a drop-off site! WOO!

Day 8 – Really “Bad” Cross-stitch

October 8, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / 2 Comments

Needlework is becoming a lost art, right? Hardly anyone makes Ziggy cross-stitch samplers anymore.

So on Day 8 of my 31 Days of Fun/Funny/Funktastic stuff for Families, how ’bout turning off the screen, blowing the dust off your old cross-stitch hoop (c. 1982), and teaching your kids a crafty new skill?

Maybe you can whip up something cute for the kitchen?

P.S. Heisenberg is the new Ziggy. You can buy this kit on Etsy at the Steotch shop – and it won’t cost you mad stacks.

Day 7 – Undead Family Photos

October 7, 2014October 7, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / Leave a comment

There is no end – and I mean, NOOO END – to all the goofiness you can get involved in on the Interweb.

But here’s my favorite today:

Photoshopping your kids into vampires.

I use PicMonkey to help create all the photographic wonders you see on this über-fancy blog on a daily basis. (Even techno-illiterate dorks like me can use it without torment, so when I say it’s easy, it’s easy.)

Now PicMonkey has these new Halloween and Christmas themes, wherein you can turn your family into the cast of Twilight or — for the jollier of spirit — a pack of marauding North Pole elves.

This is Day 7 of the 31-day blogging challenge (#write31Days) in which I committed to pummel you with fun/funny stuff for families all month long.

So for the colossally bored out there (which is exactly NO ONE), how bout a little Vampire or Magic Elf photo editing?

Just upload a picture onto PicMonkey, click the little Jack-o-lantern in the photo editor, and choose whether you want to transform your little darlings into witches or the undead.

Grey out that summer tan, add in a couple of fangs, and voila. You’ve just had yourself a laugh. And every time you look at this picture, you will laugh again. So…multiple laughs. Totally worth it.

(And did I mention, it’s all free? Score.)

Now if the spooky stuff isn’t your bag, head on down to the SantaLand theme — a jollier, less dead place to hang.

(I think I just blew the secret on the Filly Family Christmas card this year, yo.)

If you actually do this ridiculous nonsense, PLEASE please please share with me your thematic family photos — either here or on my Tales From the Crib blog Facebook page.

I assure you, I will laugh multiple times. So will you.

Day 6 – Motherly “Hair-oics”

October 6, 2014October 6, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / 2 Comments

Nothing cements a mother-daughter relationship like jerking your kid’s hair out by the roots.

In all those pictures you see of a mother gently brushing her daughter’s silky locks, they seem so serene…so lost in the closeness of this tender nightly ritual. They look like they could be humming folk songs or maybe sharing little secrets together.

They leave out the screeching parts.

My girl’s got large hair. It’s thick and wavy and reflexively shrinks into a knot if it so much as meets a stiff breeze or looks sideways at a body of water.

I can’t tell you how many countless hours of my life have been spent whittling away at hair knots ’til my gnarled arthritic hands are lunging for the nearest scissors.

Nobody knows the trouble her hair has seen.

There has been much growling and muttering from me, occasional tears from her, and little to no tenderness or song-singing.

If this sounds like your house, Day 6 of my 31-day blogging challenge (#write31Days) is for you. I’m posting 31 days of fun/funny stuff for families, and here’s something that’s really fun: brushing your kid’s hair without drama.

So put this on your shopping list: the “Wet” Brush.

My friend whose daughter has butt-length Crystal Gayle hair turned me to this one.

And y’all. This thang works.

I have no idea how. It looks just like any ordinary old brush. But it’s got voodoo detangling powers infused in its bristles.

You can get it at Target for like, $8, or something.

One reviewer on Amazon wrote that this magical brush “glides through the nappiest of birds’ nests with ease.”

That’s what I was gonna say.

Ta da.

It still takes a while to work through this hot mess, but we all live to tell the story. And there is even occasional humming.

A fun thing for families? NOT crying.

So that’s my Day 6.

You’re welcome.

P.S. I stole the word “Hairoics” from my ALL-TIME FAVORITE puntastic hair salon name. (Hairoics is in Nags Head, NC if you’re ever vacationing and need to get your roots done. Or maybe buy a Wet Brush.)

Day 5 – WIGS.

October 5, 2014October 5, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / Leave a comment

Wig. It’s a short word. It requires no explanation. A big goofy wig is inherently FUNNY.

(As is a Kristen Wiig, but I’ll save that for another day.)

Trying on wigs (if you can get past concerns about cooties) is one of life’s great hilarities.

Target has this new line of wigs for Halloween – all huge and 3-D and not at all hairy –that BEG to be tried on and Instagrammed.

Here’s Lucy doing exactly that – channeling her inner Kate Moss.

FIERCE.

So if you’re out cruising the aisles this afternoon, take a break from hissing at your children hanging out of the cart like chattering monkeys, their wee spaghetti arms grabbing every Halo mini-figure set and box of Cocoa Puffs in sight.

On Day 5 of my 31 day blogging challenge (#write31Days), here’s my genius fun/funny/funktastic idea for your family:

Take yourself a breather in the Halloween aisle.

Go try on those big stupid wigs. Take dorky pictures. Laugh like snorting mules.

You might just all make it out of the store alive.

Day 4 – Saturday is for DONUTS

October 4, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / 3 Comments

This box is either half empty – or half full – depending on how you look at it.

This used to hold many donuts. (We’ve been busy this Saturday morning.)

As part of the 31 day writing challenge I’ve undertaken (#write31Days), I’m sharing 31 days of my funnest/funniest stuff for families. So far, it’s involved taxidermy and books that say “BooBoo Butt,” so yeah, it’s been pretty high-brow.

That trend continues.

Allow me to impart a little parenting wisdom from my vast repertoire of wisdom.

Donuts are the way to a child’s heart.

Especially the ones in the yellow box that we have around here.

For local yokels, run – don’t walk – as fast as your chubby little donut-lovin’ legs can carry you to Flanders Donuts in Niantic, CT. I all but licked this plate, so you’ll just have to trust me. It was gooood.

I suggest you go get yourself a box of donuts this weekend. Somewhere. Anywhere. (Preferably in the yellow box or where there’s a neon “Hot Doughnuts Now” sign — if such fine dining options are available to you.)

These sugar bombs of glazed goodness may not pass the Michelle Obama test, but trust me, you will be BELOVED for it.

And your wee ones will be QUIET for a few delicious minutes.

Little faces stuffed with love and sprinkles.

Now THAT’s the makings of a happy Saturday.

Day 3 – Goat Feet Hunting

October 3, 2014October 3, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / Leave a comment

I found what’s at the rainbow’s end, my friends.

These things.

These are GOATS’ FEET.

These feet that once frolicked about a craggy meadow can now sit atop your child’s craft station, upcycled into handsome decanters for Magic Markers and craft scissors.

Just imagine the possibilities.

And it all begins at your local JUNK STORE.

(The above are available right now at Past to Present in Niantic, CT if you don’t have time this weekend to fashion your own.)

On this — Day 3 of my Fun/Funny/Funktastic Stuff for Families blogging challenge (#write31Days) — allow me to point your brood toward the nearest Goodwill store or dusty old thrift store.

Here at these havens of curiosities and cost-savings, your children will gain an appreciation for the record albums…

and the typewriters…

and the Pez dispensers of the past.

You’re welcome, Will.

They’ll learn the value of squeezing a dollar til it begs for mercy (and the thrill of scoring those barely-used UnderArmour sneakers for $5).

And they’ll be imbued with a can-do spirit of DIY-ness — the very same spirit that inspired a man to see a pair of goats’ feet and dream of all the worlds they could hold.

So don’t be a snob. Go junking with your kids. You’ll find something completely random that you just have to have.

And maybe you’ll find a really scary doll that’ll make you laugh ’til you cry – or who will kill you in the night.

Oh sure, there’s risk involved. But it’s still the best Blue Light Special there is.

Day 2 – “The Book With No Pictures”

October 2, 2014October 2, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / 2 Comments

B.J. Novak smiles more than you think he would.

As the “temp” on The Office all those years, he seemed like a sad little clown. (It was probably just the crushing weight of all of his dying dreams at Dunder-Mifflin.)

But when I dragged the family to B.J. Novak’s book-signing at RJ Julia in Madison last night (props to the local independent bookstore!), and he read his crazy clever new children’s book, The Book With No Pictures – I was knocked out.

He was ADORABLE. I mean, just incredibly engaging and witty and so smart – but not in that sneering way that implies that he reads the New Yorker and I don’t. (Which is true, but he’d never say so. At least not to my face.)

Oh, and B.J. Novak also thinks I’m cool.

Anyway, that’s what he said. (See how I worked in an Office quote?)

In the signing line, I wrangled over what to say. I settled on something pithy but eloquent like, “Thank you.” I thought I might add in a quick — “Loved the book” — just to extend our time together.

Will took this picture. (He’s ten, so cut him some slack.) Lucy is the shadowy person B.J. is chatting it up with. I was there too but am — TRAGICALLY — not pictured.

Instead, when the big moment arrived, I turned flaming red and blurted out:

“I sound like a total dork, but…” (Blurggggg…enter lots of gushy words of stalker fandom.)

He looked me right in the eye, smiled like a cute little hipster angel, and said, “I don’t think that makes you a dork. I think that makes you COOL.”

Consider my day MADE, y’all.

So, on this – DAY 2 of my #write31Days blogging challenge (in which I made grand claims that I’d improve your family life with fun/funny/funktastic stuff this month) – I present to you The Book With No Pictures.

If you have a kid ages 3-7ish, this is high comedy. It’ll make you say buffoonish stuff out loud that will have your kids rolling on the floor – which they were actually doing last night. I saw it.

It also reminds me of The Monster at the End of this Book — one of my all-time favorite books as a kid. (If you haven’t read it, go get that one too.)

This is my ragtag old copy. You really must get your own.

When you read books like these out loud, you can’t be a drip. You have to work your best Grover impression. You have to say words like “boo boo butt.” You have to sell it. And that’s when reading time with kids is a blast.

B.J. Novak said he wants kids to see the power in words – that with words, they can make their grown-ups act silly. But that’s just the start. If they understand the power of words, then they can be real rabble-rousers in life.

Ah, that’s the stuff that makes a word nerd like me swoon. And say “globbity-glibbity.”

That’s what he said.

P.S. For slightly more grown-up fun, also check out Novak’s book trailer on Amazon for his collection of short stories, One More Thing. It’s a French film parody with Mindy Kaling that KILLS. I have watched it thrice and still die laughing.

31 Days of FUNTASTICNESS

October 1, 2014October 31, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / 4 Comments

I used to be better at withstanding peer pressure.

But my friend Pam (who blogs her hilarious words and doodles at yesilikepaulstanley.blogspot.com) invited me to play in the blog sandbox with her. And I can’t say “no.” (She’d make fun of me – and she’d be good at it.)

Pam told me about this blogging challenge called “31 Days” (write31days.com) where a thousand (or three) other bloggers are posting every day this month on any topic of their choice. Yikes.

I was stumped on what I could possibly write about for 31 long days:

31 recipes for the perfect tuna casserole?
31 Baskin-Robbins flavors and why they’re worthy of inclusion in the ice cream canon?
31 inspired musings worthy of a kitty cat poster?

Nah. I figured I’d talk about what I always talk about — stupid family stuff that makes me laugh, because heaven knows we need to seriously lighten up about this parenting business sometimes.

Every blessed October day, I’ll share my favorite stuff that’s fun/ funny/funktastic and somehow (be it ever so tangentially) related to families. And I’d love to hear from you – because you’ve got tons of fun/funny/funktastic/family-related stuff of your own that I may have somehow missed in life.

I’ll warn you: there’s almost zero chance there’ll be crafts or recipes (that would just be weird coming from me).

But there might be a bonzo thing I found at Goodwill that’ll make you spew your morning coffee. Or a children’s book you just HAVE to own. Or the new line of hilarious Halloween wigs at Target that you absolutely must try on.

It’ll be silly nonsense. But that’s how we roll in our crusty old station wagon with the Bill Cosby album blaring.

By day 31, who knows? I may be scraping the bottom of the fun barrel and saying stuff like, “Eh, who cares anymore. Just go watch cartoons.”

But hey, at least it won’t require a glue gun.

Here are each day’s topics as we go along…

Day 2: B.J. Novak’s new children’s book

Day 3: Goat Feet Hunting

Day 4: Saturday is for DONUTS

Day 5: Wigs.

Day 6: Motherly “Hairoics”

Day 7: Undead Family Photos

Day 8: Really “Bad” Cross-stitch

Day 9: Pack a Shoebox…or 12

Day 10: Introduce Your Kids to Jan Hooks

Day 11: Get Your Faerie On

Day 12: Sunday is for Slothing

Day 13: Get Pumped for Fall at Pumpkintown USA

Day 14: Cook like Betty Draper

Day 15: Ummmmm, I skipped.

Day 16: Show the Kids Your Yearbook

Day 17: Chomp on Cheeseburgers

Day 18: Get Tricked out for Halloween

Day 19: Skipped again!

Day 20: Game on

Day 23: SNL Starter Skits for Kids

Day 29: Taunt a Furby (actually, don’t)

Day 31: Allow Me to Introduce…the Jack-O-Lantern

WHEW! We’re done!

Texts from the Crib

September 25, 2014 / DeeDeeFilly / 3 Comments

Look at this picture carefully and tell me what you see.

Yes, that IS a cell phone in the hand of a teenage girl.

At a state fair.

IN A BABY STROLLER.

We were just sitting around at the Big E Fair in Massachusetts, waiting on the kids to be done on the bouncy thingee and taking in some world-class people-watching.

Then there was this girl.

Just consider, if you will, the melée going on all around this glowing little phone shroud.

A million and one lights flashing, Guns N’ Roses blaring, rides spinning and dropping people at Mach 10, all that delirious screaming, deep-fat fryers sizzling, the steady thump of mole-whacking. There could not be a more overstimulating, kid-centric, happy-making environment this side of heaven’s glory.

Her parents were such jerks to drag her there.

As if that weren’t enough, check out this kid on the swings.

He is literally SITTING ON AN AMUSEMENT PARK RIDE texting. He’s got a whole 30 seconds before getting swung into the rafters. So what better time to post a Yelp review about the elephant ear stand? It’s all about time management.

I’m sorry, but this crap is BANANAS, y’all.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I seriously wanted to jerk those infernal phones out of their hands and launch them straight off the nearest Ferris wheel. Or maybe run them over with the nearest bumper car. Or whack them to smithereens like the nearest mole.

I know I sound totally judgy and ranty, but I am just sick to death of seeing entire families in restaurants, every last one of them nose-deep in a screen. Just last night at the pizza joint, I watched the patriarch of a family ignore his wife and young daughter so he could play Candy Crush. And he’s the grown-up.

We’ve all seen it. Some of us do it. But it can’t be good.

And I’m sorry, but I have to draw the line at FAIRS.

There is life to be lived, people of the phone. There are whirls to tilt. There are giant turkey legs to consume. There are oversized SpongeBobs to win. There are bearded ladies to see (and at the fair, believe me, they’re everywhere).

And thus I must…sort of…quote Lee Ann Womack.

If you get the chance to text it out or dance, oh Lord help us, I hope you dance.

Or at least eat the chocolate-covered bacon and report back to me.

Tales from the Crib

Married with Children…& Other Issues

Uncategorized