Carpe Beach’m: My Quest for the Perfect Puntastic Beach House Name

Some people collect shells at the beach. (Yawn.)

I collect really dumb beach house names.

Exhibit A:

I Luv View

I have quite a Beach House Hall of Fame going now – from the fun-to-say “Whale Rested” to the dated cultural reference “Farfrumwerken” – each name treasured for its breezy goofiness, clever punmanship, or that most highly sought-after quality of all, sheer stupidity. Try this one on for size:

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I’m not making this up. it’s just THAT bad.

But the dork in me loves that there is thought and love and ridiculousness in every pun-filled morsel.

And I love that someone paid good money for a sign to hang on their multi-million dollar home that says, “Scooby Dune.”

You can go in a myriad of mind-bending pun directions with a beach house name, most of which lead straight to the sea (usually because “sea” rhymes really well with stuff):

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And there’s always something fun to be done with “dune.” (And by fun, I mean AWESOME.)

Other "dune" also-rans: Dune R Thing,  Just Dune It

Other “dune” also-rans: Dune R Thing, Just Dune It

The bounteous wildlife of the sea is all but bursting forth with pun possibilities:

Also would have accepted: One Good Tern, All Conched Out

Also would have accepted: One Good Tern, All Conched Out

And always and evermore, there’s the “shore.”

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Shorely you jest.

Personally, I’m sucker for a good pop-culture pun, and this one ranks as maybe my favorite of all time:

And another pop-culture favorite with the kiddies: Looney Dunes.

And a favorite with the kiddies: Looney Dunes.

Sure, you could get all Downton Abbey and name your beach house something dignified like “Windswept” – as if it stands on the White Cliffs of Dover and not on stilts.

But as for me and my nonexistent beach house, I choose:

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Unexpected. Imbued with a sense of togetherness. A timeless reference to John Hughes. Grand champion in my book.

Ah, smell that salt air? Wanna get “A Wave From It All” right from your arm chair?

My friends, the sea beckons you to share your favorite beach house names with me.

I will treasure these tacky postcards as cherished souvenirs of our vacations past.

They will live on as…(God forgive me)… our “legasea.”