Rocking the bus stop like Brian Boitano


I just bought new lipstick, which I clearly haven’t bothered to wear in WAY TOO LONG.

I know this because my kid says to me (with something akin to utter shock): “You have on lipstick today! You look like an ice skater!”

Ummmm…not sure what that means. But weirdly enough, after digging a little deeper, I think she meant “glamorous,” like I was some kind of tarted-up Tonya Harding.

I’ve decided my next additions to the bus stop wardrobe must henceforth be (from top to bottom): 1) lacquered bun pulled so tight it provides a free face lift; 2) plunging neckline with skin-toned webbing bedazzled with Swarovski crystals; 3) head to toe body glitter; 4) preternaturally dark suntan hose.

(I will still wear duck boots.)

This could be the start of a whole new “ice skater” me — a transformation of Olympic proportions.

And to think it all began with a little gloss called “Blushing Nude.” I sure hope the Romanian judges approve.