Birds, Bees and (for lack of a better word)…Coconuts

Kid #2 just finished what she called the “Human GROSS and Development” unit in 5th grade science, so let’s just say– she knows ALL THE WORDS. Just one year ago, we were embarking with Kid #1 on this Sex Ed “virgin voyage,” and I wrote about it, OF COURSE. Kid #1 came home shocked to his core that Daddy and I had “done that TWICE.” So I am sharing that post TWICE because, well, some things are worth doing more than once (wink wink).

Tales from the Crib

My little boy is getting the sex talk at school today.

Somebody get over here and HOLD ME.


He is today embarking on the fifth grade science unit about “human growth and development.” That means that today the light will dawn on all those weird words I was never enlightened enough to teach him. (I’m sorry, but most of those words are gross…except for Vas Deferens, which sounds kind of fancy. I much prefer the vagaries of “down there.”)

IMG_5956 See what I mean??? Ugh.

Today he will watch that video (if he ever gets out from under his desk) with drawings of girls and boys “blossoming,” which boils down to getting hairy and growing “coconuts.” (That’s Will’s word. I swear I didn’t teach him that one.)

Today the shales will fall off his eyes and he will become acquainted with “sanitary napkins.”

Today my child will learn where babies come from, without any mention of storks or cabbage patches or God’s eternal mystery.


Today is the…

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