Hair I Am

There’s just something about a bad pun that stirs my cornball soul.

And when a business puts all its eggs in a pun’s basket–when their entire name, brand, business model, and marketing strategy are based entirely on a painful pun–there’s just nothing better in my book.

Beauty parlors are absolute masters of this. If there’s a way to work in the words “shear” or “cuttin'” somewhere, anywhere, on a business card, they will DO IT.

curl-up-and-dye-hair-salon

This trend is best exemplified by the ultimate beauty parlor pun: Curl Up & Dye. It’s everywhere. But we can do better.

I’ve been jotting down ridiculous pun-tastic beauty parlor names for years, and I recently struck upon THE ONE BEAUTY PARLOR PUN TO RULE THEM ALL.

But I need to build to that.

To whet your appetite, allow me to share a tasty sampler of my very favorite beauty parlor names that I’ve collected from across this great land. You’ll thank me later.

(Throat clearing noises…) I give you:

  • Best Little Hair House – Voluntown, CT. This is not only hilarious, but there also may be scandalous levels of permanent waves going on here.
Hairhouse
You see that I had no choice but to veer off wildly and take a picture.
  • Hairoics – Kill Devil Hills, NC. These heroes of cosmetology are ready to storm your grays like the beaches of Normandy.
  • Vanity Hair – Onancock, VA (which the Internet tells me is now closed, but not for lack of classy pun perfection);
  • Cutt’n Up – Hayes, VA. (Not to be confused with Kuttin Up in Hampton, VA. The kreative use of K’s opens up whole new worlds of possibilities.)
  • Bee’s Hive of Beauty, New Rochelle, NY.  This is just adorably home-spun, even though it harkens back to a big oversized do that’s now a big oversized don’t.
Hairphenalia

BIG bonus points for their tag line: “Weapons of Mass Seduction.”

But there’s one barber shop name that stands HEAD and SHOULDERS above the rest. (See what I did there?)

We just happened upon it the other night, and it blew me away with pure pun-tastic genius. I can’t NOT laugh every time I think of it.

I guess after so many plays on the words “head” and “clip” (usually with the letter Z tagged on to the end), I’d gotten hungry for something bold and new on the menu…something I never saw coming. Sort of like an ostrich burger.

THIS IS IT.

The heavens are parting now.

Here it comes…

2ndcombing

Right smack dab in New London, CT.

The 2nd Combing.

WAIT FOR IT. Chew on it a minute.

Oh yeahhhhh. You got it.

HEAVEN-SENT.

If I weren’t such a dork, I could retire from my pun pursuits right now. The 2nd Combing is my pun Everest.

Yet I press on. I will continue my quest for the most ridiculous beach house names, boat names, even strip club names…but I don’t see how anything can top this one in the whole realm of barber shop names.

But maybe you have some choice offerings I’ve missed. Please please please share.

We all need something, anything, to make us laugh these days. Even if it’s just a pun that’s so bad it’s GOOOOD.

2 thoughts on “Hair I Am

  1. There used to be a hair salon in Old Saybrook called the Beauty Barn. Just couldn’t bring myself to go there, ever. The visuals in my mind where just to frightening!

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